We all have times when we lack self-confidence and don’t feel good about ourselves. Some people feel more confident than others, it’s completely normal to feel that you lack self-confidence in certain situations such as interviews, or presentations.
This article discusses how we can build our self-confidence by looking at situations differently. If you are concerned about a specific situation such as improving your interview skills, this can be used alongside developing and practising these skills.
How our focus affects our confidence
Your mind can only do one thing well, which is to focus. Either you choose what to focus on, or your mind chooses. Focus is important, because whatever we focus our attention on appears to grow bigger in our perception. Focussing on concerns can magnify these until they seem overwhelming, fuelling a cycle of negative thinking which can lead to anxiety. Conversely, focusing on your strengths, expertise and achievements, increases your confidence as well as helping with your interview preparation.
Focus on improving the situation
When you feel concerned about a situation, an effective approach is to switch to problem-solving mode and take steps to improve the situation, or reduce the likelihood of it occurring. For instance, if you are worried about interviews, focus on improving your interview skills. Many people focus on potential difficulties, which can magnify these until they seem overwhelming, it is far better to take practical steps to address your concerns before they have the opportunity to grow.
Focus on helping other people
Often, when we are worried, we focus on our concern and lose sight of the broader picture. When we feel concerned about a situation, our focus shifts inwards, and we focus on our weaknesses and possible issues rather our strengths. When we look at situations from other people’s perspectives, this helps to put the situation back into perspective and makes the issue seem less daunting.
If we consider a job interview from the recruiter’s perspective, they need to find the right person to help them solve the issues in the job description, as quickly as possible. The role being vacant is impacting on key deliverables, costing the company money, and impacting colleagues who are covering the role alongside their day-to-day roles. A great way of preparing for interviews is to focus on how we can help the recruiter in each area of the job description. This keeps us focused on our strengths and how we can help them.
Many people find it helpful to talk to a friend about their concerns, as often they have a completely different perspective and the situation seems much better than they initially thought. It can also be helpful to consider how important a situation is, will it matter in a few weeks, months or years?
Building your Confidence
Would you like to improve your confidence? I provide coaching sessions, personally tailored to your needs. Sessions can focus on particular challenges, such as career coaching, or interview coaching you can find more information and prices via the links. You are welcome to contact me, and I’ll be pleased to discuss how I can plan a session to help you.
